Once in a while...
MY WIFE BOUGHT A FRAME FOR MY SMARTASSERY.
I had a romantic getaway planned for my woman and me. I was so proud of making the plans months in advance and how much fun it would be. Our little trip took a turn and went to shit. Tamera took it in stride, helped figure out a new plan, and we decided we were still gonna finish what we started.
I appreciated the hell out of that. So, being the distinguished gentleman I am, I made her a certificate:
🏆 THE BADASS WITH A FINE ASS AWARD 🏆
Officially recognizing her as Executive in Charge of Maternal Affairs, Chief of Keeping Our Shit Together, and Director of “Well, We’ll Figure Something Out.”
Naturally, the benefits package included back rubs, wandering hands, and some highly questionable committee business. Because apparently I can’t write a love letter without involving My Human Resources.
She loved it so much she went and BOUGHT A FRAME.
There’s something pretty damn special about seeing your wife frame the ridiculous thing you made because you wanted her to know she matters.
And the rest of the evening? Let’s just say the frame wasn’t the only wood that got proper attention that evening.😏
But seriously, fellas: tell your woman what you appreciate. Be specific. If she helped you get through a shitty day, tell her. If you admire the way she handles things, say it out loud. If those pants make her ass look incredible, then be sure she knows it. Give her something to laugh at and something worth keeping.
Tamera, I love you. Thank you for making a busted plan into another adventure with me.
For my fellow knuckleheads, I made a blank-name version you can download, personalize, and print for your own badass.
No guarantees on the evening’s extracurricular activities. Write your own damn love story. 😂
—Ross
Just Call Me Ross
The Badass With a Fine Ass Award
Presented with love, admiration, and questionable intentions to
TAMERA ROSS
Executive in Charge of Maternal Affairs
Chief of Keeping Our Shit Together & Director of “Well, We’ll Figure Something Out”
For outstanding performance when our little trip took a hard left into What the Actual Fu*k—and you took it in stride, helped make a new plan, and kept right on being the woman I love doing life with.
The original plan went to shit. You helped make sure the whole adventure didn’t follow it. Now we’re gonna finish this thing together.
YOUR WELL-EARNED BENEFITS
Back rubs from your husband, with absolutely no scientific guarantee that his hands will stay on your back. Kisses, cuddles, and enthusiastic personal attention. Full authority to tell the Executive Knucklehead to shut up and rub your shoulders.
One optional meeting of the Oral Appreciation Committee. Blow jobs may be proposed, but the Executive retains complete authority over whether anybody gets a head start.
And underneath all my smartass bullshit, here’s what I mean:
I see what you do. I appreciate how you handle things when they get hard. (Especially me) I love that we can look at a busted plan, look at each other, and decide we’re still going to make something good out of it.
Thank you for being my partner, my wife, and my favorite person to get into—and out of—trouble with. I appreciate you so damn much, babe.
With love and a wandering hand, Ross
Your Husband & Executive Knucklehead
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