STOP CARRYING WHAT’S KILLING YOU
I used to believe that staying angry meant I was holding people accountable.
It didn’t.
Most of the time, the people I was angry with were sleeping just fine. They were eating dinner, watching television, laughing with their friends, and going about their lives without giving a second thought to the damage they had caused.
Meanwhile, I was carrying it everywhere.
I carried it into conversations that had nothing to do with them. I carried it into relationships with people who had never hurt me. I carried it to bed at night and picked it right back up the next morning.
They did the damage once.
I kept doing it to myself every goddamn day after that.
That is the part nobody wants to admit.
Anger can feel powerful. Resentment can feel like justice. Replaying the argument in your head can feel like preparation for the day when you finally make them understand exactly what they did.
But the anger didn’t fix it.
The resentment didn’t change it.
And the overthinking sure as hell didn’t heal it.
Some people will never understand your side because understanding it would require them to admit what they did. They would have to look honestly at themselves, accept responsibility, and live with the fact that they hurt somebody.
A lot of people would rather rewrite the entire story than do that.
You can bring them facts.
You can bring them receipts.
You can explain it calmly, loudly, politely, angrily, or with pictures drawn in fucking crayon.
It will not matter if they are committed to misunderstanding you.
Eventually, you have to stop arguing your case before a jury that has already decided you are guilty.
That does not mean they were right.
It does not mean what they did was acceptable.
It does not mean you have to forgive them, welcome them back, or pretend it never happened.
It means you have decided they have already taken enough from you.
Letting go is not weakness.
Walking away is not losing.
Peace is not the same thing as surrender.
Sometimes the strongest move available is to stop fighting a battle that is destroying you while teaching the other person absolutely nothing.
You can remember the lesson without carrying the weight.
You can recognize what someone is capable of without hating them.
You can close the door without standing behind it for the rest of your life, listening to see whether they finally regret what they did.
Maybe they will.
Maybe they won’t.
That is no longer your job.
Your job is to move forward.
Put the weight down.
Take the lesson with you.
Leave the anger on the floor.
And choose peace—not because they deserve it, but because YOU do.
Luvu. Later.
Comments